Episode 07 - Discovering Yoga for Holistic Healing with Sameer Bhide
Or listen & subscribe in your favorite app: Apple Podcasts AUDIBLE SPOTIFY PlayerFM YouTube
Please enjoy this excerpt featuring Sameer Bhide on the choice to start on your healing journey now.
Watch the full video episode with captions here.
Enjoy all of the episodes in the series on YouTube.
SHOW NOTES
Sameer Bhide, author, One Fine Day: Overcoming Adversity and Embracing the New Normal with Grace and Gratitude - order a copy now!
Before January 31, 2017, Sameer Bhide’s life was pretty good. He moved to the US from India in 1990. He had already completed an accounting degree, and then completed a management degree followed by his MBA in 1993.
He had a career he enjoyed in consulting and technology, was married with kids, and settled outside of Washington DC.
But that notable day in January, just as he was beginning the workday from his home office, he suffered a catastrophic stroke in his cerebellum. He required two brain surgeries and spend the next month in a medically induced coma before transitioning to the path of recovery.
IN THIS EPISODE:
Sameer and I discuss:
Did you know immediately that you would plan to recover?
What brought you back to India?
How did you let go of being afraid to die?
You had never tried yoga until after you suffered a catastrophic stroke in your cerebellum in 2017 and then your healing process began. What do you think of the practice now? Is yoga for everyone?
Were you also healing from a lifestyle that was not sustainable?
How do you find ways to celebrate? What’s something you would like to celebrate today?
You say: “If someone would have told me that I will have a life-altering stroke, still be rehabbing after 3+ years , on long term disability, not working, divorced and writing a memoir…..I would have laughed. But this is how life is. Reminds you to be grateful and thankful for each day you are here and not get too carried away or plan too far ahead.”
Did all of these experiences help you notice more of what is good?
Tell us about your practice with Loving-Kindness Meditation, using Love and kindness from and with others as a way of healing.
Share more about your healing journey. The first part started in September 2017 in India at the Nimba Nature Cure and continued with rehab and added eastern holistic treatments and practices such as yoga, meditation, vegetarian diet, acupuncture, energy healing and ayurvedic massages.
Could you have received this kind of care in the US?
What does the word “access” mean to you?
What is your mindset and what did you need to do to shift it? Or were you always focused on the positive outlook?
What have you learned about diversity throughout India and the US as a result of this experience? How did your recognition of diversity change through that experience?
You can't type with two hands and focus on a computer for more than 10 minutes at a time and you are not a professional writer, so you outsourced the writing part to a ghostwriter in the US. What is it like to work with a ghostwriter? What has the experience been like to write a book?
LINKS
Find Sameer Bhide online at:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/sameer-bhide-841258/
https://twitter.com/sameer_author
https://www.instagram.com/sameer_author/
TRANSCRIPTS
Note: Please excuse any errors in the transcription.
Monica Phillips (01:22):
Welcome to yoga philosophy for everyday living. I'm really excited to be here with Sameer Bhide today. Sameer is the author of "One Fine Day: Overcoming Adversity and Embracing the New Normal with Grace and Gratitude." And he has certainly done that. Welcome to the show, Sameer.
Sameer Bhide (01:38):
Thanks for having me on the podcast, Monica. Really appreciate it.
Sameer Bhide (01:41):
It's so great to see you again. We are old friends. I met Sameer in Washington, DC back in like 2010. So 11 years ago, before January 31st, 2017, his life was pretty good. He moved to the U S from India in 1990, and you had already completed an accounting degree, and then you moved to the state and completed a management degree. And then your MBA in 1993, you had a career in consulting and technology, which is when I met you. You were married and have two boys, and then you settled outside of Washington, DC.
Monica Phillips (02:13):
And then that day in January, just as you were beginning, your work from home, you suffered a catastrophic stroke in the cerebellum and you required two brain surgeries and spent the next month and a medically induced coma before you could even transition to the path of recovery. That sounds like a lot, like a huge, huge life change that most people never expect. And you talked about this when you shared what is yoga, it's this struggle that we have in life so often comes from what we expect and what we want our life to be and where we are now. So what happened that day? When did you realize what had happened?
Sameer Bhide (02:54):
I had no idea because I had no symptoms before. So there are two types of strokes. Apparently I only found that out after I had one. One is a lifestyle stroke because of your eating and not exercising, drinking and stuff like that.
Sameer Bhide (03:11):
And the other one is a genetic kind of stroke, your born with some condition that it will eventually happen to you. And so I was in that category, it was a genetic, uh, you know, I was born with this condition, this stroke, whatever happened when I was 10 or 20 or 30 or whatever, it just happened when I was 47, almost four years ago. So I had no symptoms whatsoever. In fact, 15 days before the day I had my stroke, I had done a complete physical and, you know, everything was fine and they, they don't
Sameer Bhide (03:41):
Do an MRI because unless there are some symptoms, they don't do that. This is January 30, first, 2017. So that morning I got up, I started to do emails and then all of a sudden, my left sinus started to hurt right below my left eye. And it was really probing and then I started to get dizzy, you know, I couldn't sit straight on the bed, so I just decided to no. And then I started to sweat. And as soon as I started to sweat, I knew something, it was wrong. And my ex-wife, she also knew something was wrong because having the three symptoms, the severe probing pain in the sinus, dizziness and swelling, we thought that I'm having a heart attack or something like that, because that runs in my family. And as soon as I started to sweat, my ex-wife called the paramedics and they came within 15, 20 minutes.
Sameer Bhide (04:33):
And when they came up, they couldn't figure out what the heck was happening because in these types of strokes, your wife is our normal. So my EKG was normal. My blood pressure was normal and so on, so forth. So they had no idea what was going on. They thought that I I'm having a severe migraine headache and lucky for me. They decided to take me to the hospital and they got me down to the ambulance. And then I passed out and I don't remember the next 30 days because I was in a medically induced coma. So that saved my life. I think they came within 15, 20 minutes. And then within the hour, you know, I was on the operating table and that probably saved my life because of times of the essence in stroke. So apparently when I reached the ER, even the doctors, there had no idea what was going on, because again, the vitals were normal.
Sameer Bhide (05:22):
And apparently I told them that I feel like the left hand is floating in the air. And as soon as they heard that they rushed me to emergency MRI. And then they found out that a blood vessel had burst in my cerebellum. Then they rushed me to the surgery. I went through a three hour surgery. Then I spent 30 days in a medically induced coma. I have no recollection of those 30 days, barring a few instances, which are noted in the book. And then after 30 days, they shifted me to a rehab hospital where I started doing all kinds of therapies. And that's when I regained my consciousness.
Monica Phillips (05:55):
Tell us about what you are on now still on this road to recovery.
Sameer Bhide (06:01):
Being a business person I kept metrics of my recovery. So there were three things which I looked at: the strength of my body because my left side was completely paralyzed after the stroke, my vision was affected.
Sameer Bhide (06:14):
I had a severe case of something called a nistagmus, which affects balance and depth and perception and so on and so forth. So that was the second. And the third one was dizziness. So the strength has improved 60, 70% since my stroke, vision has improved 60, 70% since my stroke, but my dizziness has not improved at all because the stroke was on the cerebellum and that affects all your motor skills. And that's where all the motor skills and the dizziness and stuff, and my headaches have not improved. So that's what I'm facing today. And that's my new normal, the way I look at it because it's, it's not improved at all. And I may have to live with this for the rest of my life.
Monica Phillips (06:53):
So you're from India, but you had been living in Washington, DC and the DC area. What caused you to move back to India for treatment?
Sameer Bhide (07:01):
After my stroke, after those 30 days in the induced coma, I spent 30 days in the rehab hospital where I started doing all kinds of therapies, right? Physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, and so on and so forth. And my left side was paralyzed and I had completely become weak and my speech was a little bit slurred. So I started doing those therapies. And then I came home after 30 days in the rehab hospital. And then we started continuing to do outpatient therapies in the local hospital. And, you know, we did more than 60 outpatient visits, if you will, for doing different kinds of therapies. This is roughly around August. We did all that. There are a couple of reasons I decided to go to India. Number one was, I didn't want to burden my ex-wife more because every time we had to go anywhere, she had to load up the wheelchair and take me.
Sameer Bhide (07:52):
So I didn't want to burden her more. And my family more, that was number one. And then also the cost of my health started to go up, even though the insurance company was paying most of it, the copays and everything was starting to add up. And the other thing which was affecting me in those six months was more of a mental challenge, right? Because for the six months, I was constantly hounded by the thoughts that, you know, why me, why am I suffering? Why my family is suffering. So those thoughts were really, really bothering me and making me sad and depressed. So I wanted a holistic solution for it, doing meditation and yoga, those kinds of things. So those were a couple of reasons. I decided to try out this holistic facility in the state of Missouri, which is about 200 miles from here and then decided to go there for two and a half months.
Monica Phillips (08:42):
I think it's interesting. You grew up in India, but it wasn't until after this stroke that you found yoga, tell us about the holistic treatments you received and how yoga has been part of that. And what you've learned in that process of experimenting with your health.
Sameer Bhide (08:58):
Growing up in India, you may think I know yoga, or I may be into this Eastern holistic treatment and all of that. But when I grew up, yoga was not considered cool then, and it was kind of looked upon as an antiquated way of medicine. In fact, in India, many people, including me believed in Western therapies and Western cutting-edge technology and yoga was overlooked. So I never did yoga. Then now it's much more accepted there as well as the West, not just helping you with the body, but also with your mind and spirit. So that was a big discovery for me to do yoga after I got stroke. And I'd never done it before.
Monica Phillips (09:36):
What was it like trying yoga? What did it mean for you then?
Sameer Bhide (09:39):
It was an interesting experience because for me, I had done a lot of hard physical therapy and occupational therapy before. And yoga was focused on different things for your mind, you know, different breathing techniques and meditation and energy healing and stuff like that. So it was more for the mind I wanted to do both, right. I wanted to continue doing my physical therapy, but also supplement that with these meditation and breathing techniques and all that. So for me, that experience was interesting because I had never done it before. And again, it wasn't that I was only doing that, right. I was also doing hard physical therapy, but with yoga, as you know, the benefits are in the long run, you don't do a safe meditation today and tomorrow you are pure of everything. No meditation takes time. Yoga, reading techniques take time. So for me, it was very interesting. Initially I was skeptical, but since I was doing both physical therapy, as well as yoga therapy, you know, initially I was skeptical, but then slowly, slowly, I got into the habit of doing this. And I got convinced that this will help me in the long run. It did take me awhile. It wasn't instant.
Monica Phillips (10:47):
Tell me about the effects of mindfulness on your healing.
Sameer Bhide (10:51):
Oh, absolutely. For the first six months or so. I was completely hounded by these thoughts. You know why me? I was already in a depressive state, not depressed, but I would say depressive state. And it started bothering me constantly because I was going a hundred miles an hour before my stroke. And then suddenly I was at like, maybe barely doing 10 or 20. This really bothered me a lot. So I was in a constant flux of confusion in my mind, and I was angry. I was off. I felt sorry for myself. So my mind was definitely not stable. I just felt the need that I need do something to calm my mind. And that's when I started doing yoga a little bit. It helped me find some inner peace and some wellness.
Monica Phillips (11:36):
The title of your book reflects this overcoming resilience with grace and gratitude. And I love that you say that because we even talk about how you saw the people in your life who were giving you care with grace and with gratitude that you don't know what's going on in someone else, and you can't ever know that. And, it's hard for someone to give care. And so you saw them with compassion. Tell me more about that grace that you used in your overcoming university.
Sameer Bhide (12:06):
So before my stroke, I was a very competitive person, like many out there, always trying to win, always trying to get things done the right way. And after my stroke, I have realized, and many people who know me have realized I became much more compassionate and empathetic after my stroke. Not that I wasn't, but I can definitely feel it more now as a result of my stroke. But also I saw a lot of compassion and empathy from a lot, my caregivers, whether in the U S or whether back in India, they were people of all walks of life, different religions, different color, different casts here and so on and so forth. But they were all very compassionate and very, very empathetic. And they helped me a lot in my recovery journey. So I saw compassion and I had become much more compassionate due to the strokes. And it will be interesting if I ever go back to work, will that flow in my business world. That is the key. I'm much more compassionate in my personal life, but will this compassion flow in my business world? That's something to see.
Monica Phillips (13:10):
It sounds like you're healing, not only from a stroke, but also from an unsustainable lifestyle.
Sameer Bhide (13:15):
Even though my stroke was a genetic stroke, the lifestyle I had, like many, I'm not the unique one, many have this lifestyle, you know, constantly on the go. Even if this genetic stroke would not have happened, maybe down the road, this lifestyle was not sustainable for me. And some other element would have happened if it's not a stroke, maybe something's a little bit hard or something else, but this definitely was not a sustainable lifestyle.
Monica Phillips (13:39):
You talk about willing to try anything as long as it won't kill you. And I think the Tibetan Mandala, like what's behind me in this painting, this idea that we create something and then we blow it all away, right? That nothing is permanent. There's this temperance in life and we all die. Right? We know that. So how did that influence your decisions in this process?
Sameer Bhide (14:02):
They taught me everything in life is impermanent, right? Nothing is permanent. So for me, that was definitely a lesson for me to recover for me to do something with my life. I had to try different things. So that's why I kept telling my caregivers that I would like to travel. Whether in Western or Eastern medicine, whatever treatment, whatever therapy, as far as the best knowledge they have, if that's something that does not kill me, I would like to try, because trying is in our hands, even though everything is impermanent, you still have to try everything in your power. It may or may not work, but you have to keep trying. And so finding possibilities for me was huge. And you got trained my mind that way. Yes, things are impermanent. Things will change. You have to accept destiny, but you also have to try different things and you have to find positivity and find possibilities in whatever you do.
Monica Phillips (14:56):
What would you tell to people listening who maybe haven't suffered a stroke or something as severe, but who are leading a last-minute lifestyle?
Sameer Bhide (15:06):
I say this in my book, people should not wait for a tragedy like me to happen, but they can start doing these things like yoga, and it doesn't have to be yoga. It could be anything other Eastern holistic medicine like acupuncture or whatever, but they need to try to do things now. And you know, things like meditation or breathing exercises, and they can do it. Now. They don't have to wait for a tragedy because the lifestyle we have, it's not, not changing. It's only gonna get worse. And now it's got worse due to the pandemic. So all we can do is focus on relaxing our mind, and we can do it. Now. We don't have to wait for a tragedy to happen. You can do it now.
Monica Phillips (15:44):
What does it mean to be present for you?
Sameer Bhide (15:46):
One of the things which meditation taught me and I do a lot of mindfulness meditation, it's present moment awareness. So you're just looking at where you are now. You're not looking in the past. You are not looking in the future. You're looking at the present and mindfulness meditation has taught me to be constantly be aware of your present moment. And that's, to me, it's the present moment is you are looking at things. Now. You're not looking at the past or future.
Monica Phillips (16:11):
I see people who are very even keel. You talk about this in the book, this how we react to things is everything and how we create space for ourselves in that reaction. Because ultimately when we hate, it's not the other person who's hurting, we hurt ourselves. We give up our power. I think of even how some people are. So even keeled that they don't allow themselves to celebrate. I think celebration is incredibly important. What are some ways that you celebrate the accomplishments that you've had in your healing journey and in life in general?
Sameer Bhide (16:42):
Because I'm so thankful for the second lease on life. You know, this, uh, the stroke I had, Monica was extremely rare. It affects like 800 people in the U.S. and many die and some survive. And I'm in the survivor group. I was extremely grateful and thankful that I survived. So for me, celebration means that I volunteer my time more to people. I donate where it's possible and I celebrate life that way, you know? So I talk to people more, you know, I thank people more. I volunteer my time. I donate wherever I can. So those are some of the things I do to celebrate the second lease of life.
Monica Phillips (17:19):
Do you think you would have recovered as well? If you didn't have access to healing in India?
Sameer Bhide (17:26):
I did a hard physical therapy back in the States, and I continued doing that while in India, but I also supplemented that with yoga. So I think, uh, supplementing that with yoga has definitely helped me and my recovery levels definitely wouldn't have been that positive at the end of my two and a half months, because the key was supplementing it with the physical therapy. Not just one thing can work, but just doing yoga will not work yoga. Doesn't have a, you know, any magic pill or any magic potion to cure you, nor does the Western medicine. You have to do both and I'm living proof. So I think in the US if there was some supplementation of yoga with the cutting edge of physical therapy and medical technology that would have helped accelerate my recovery the way I look at it, you need to have access to those things. And I wish I had access to them while doing part physical therapy back in the US
Monica Phillips (18:22):
Was there a moment when the positivity switched on for you and you stopped being the victim where all this bad stuff was happening. And instead, the person who had opportunity to live?
Sameer Bhide (18:36):
The first six months, it was really troubling me. Why is this happening? I was sad. Then I slowly started to accept things, you know, especially doing meditation. And I also started talking to a clinical psychologist that also helped me. So talking to a psychologist and doing meditation helped me accept reality, accept life. Slowly I started to realize that I have to accept this new normal of mine. I have to embrace what is happening to me, but I have to do it with positivity, grace and gratitude, because to me, self-pity and complaining were not an option. No, you have to be positive. You have to accept whatever is going on with grace and gratitude, which is not an easy thing to do, but you develop it over time. And I think I've done that over the last three and a half years.
Sameer Bhide (19:21):
How did you decide to write your book, One Fine Day?
Sameer Bhide (19:24):
In 2018 when I had come to my second trip to India to be with my sister and mother, a friend had introduced me to a person who had written a book on stroke and it's called "My Stroke of Luck." So that was my initial inspiration, a stroke survivor wrote that book that is helping others. So that was my initial inspiration. And then secondly, my ex-wife wrote a book on her experience as a caregiver in the ICU, and the book was called "I See You". And that also, you know, to me, was very powerful because it was written from her caregiver perspective and that kind of cemented my thinking that I need to do something like that. So I decided then that I would like to write a book primarily to help others going through adversity because I had no idea what is possible. So I wanted to share as much as possible. So around April/May of 2018, that's when I decided to write "One Fine Day."
Monica Phillips (20:21):
You still can't type with two hands, and you struggle with some of the technical aspects of writing a book. So you used a ghost writer. Tell me what that process is like working with someone who's writing your words for you.
Sameer Bhide (20:35):
I call it my calling. My calling, my mission was to help others because I wanted to somehow give back to society by sharing with them my tips, my lessons learned my experiences from doing what I do, things whether in Eastern or Western medicine. And I wanted to share that somehow. So my calling was very strong and I wanted to make sure that I do this. So what was the best way to do this? I took some online classes, offered by Hay House, a publisher in California. Those classes were on how to become an author. And in those classes, I learned that there's something called ghost writing and that somebody will write it for you. And you're the author with your experiences and story and somebody will help you write it. Once I found that out, my determination, my calling became more strong.
Sameer Bhide (21:25):
And so finally I decided to go with a ghost writer and the process was this. Now once I hired a ghost writer, I obviously, you know, I have the experiences, I have the stories. So I would type in my notes, send it to the ghost writer. The ghost writer would fine tune it further, send it back to me. Then I'll fine tune it further and I'll send it to the ghost writer. They'll write like initial thing, send it back to me. Then I will review it, add, delete to it. So we went back and forth like that. That allowed me to do it so that I didn't have to sit in front of a computer for a long time. During this, you know, it took enough time, but it wasn't constantly like six hours I'm on the computer. So, you know, going back and forth. So we did this for about a year and we wrote 11 chapters that way. It was very, very interesting experience. So initially I thought I can just dump all my notes into this ghost writer and let him write. But the way it worked out, well, it was more of a 50/50 effort. Now we have to, it was not fair for him to understand my experiences and my story. So it was more of a 50/50 partnership and we collaborated very well.
Monica Phillips (22:34):
That's a cool story. What does the word access mean to you?
Sameer Bhide (22:38):
So access to me is having things available, resources available to you. In my case, I would say yoga resources when I was recovering.
Monica Phillips (22:47):
Something, you said that's really important in yoga spaces. It doesn't have to cost money. And of course, here in California, in the Bay area, yoga is now we're all practicing from home, right? So that actually has equalized it a little bit. There's this idea that we have to have the right clothes and the right Nat, and actually that's not true. Yoga is within, and the decision to be mindful, to be present, to understand that these things are temporary. Even these conditions are temporary, right? Then we can speak more through this process of being present with ourselves. Then it's really powerful. So I love how you've shared that through your healing journey and noticing even these philosophies of yoga that have come into help you create more than you even imagined, maybe back in June of 2017.
Sameer Bhide (23:36):
That's exactly why I wrote in the book, everything about yoga from a practical standpoint, right? Because a lot of the things you mentioned, you know, there are lots of marketing about yoga that you need to wear these fancy clothes. You have to go in a studio, blah, blah, blah, and so on. So forth. And my message in the book is look - yoga is a practice. And as you said, it's within you and you don't need anything else. You can do it by yourself. And I have approached, if you look at the book, I have lots of tips in there. Like, you know, there are many people who will say, do this for so long and so on, so forth. And what I say in the book is, you do as much as you can. Don't rely on anybody else. You know, they mean well, but only you can determine if you can do a certain exercise for five minutes or 10 minutes or whatever. So I've approached this topic with a very practical viewpoint because a lot of people get intimated by these various things happening around yoga or any other wellness traditions.
Monica Phillips (24:34):
It's an important message and an important book. So I'm glad that you wrote it and came on here to share it with us. This is Sameer Bhide, the author of One Fine Day: Overcoming Adversity and Embracing the New Normal with Grace and Gratitude. And you have certainly done that. Thanks for sharing with us so much, Sameer.
Sameer Bhide (24:50):
Well, thanks for having me on. It was a very nice chat.